In honor of Beijing hosting the 2022 Winter Games, I present to you “Chinese Curling.” If someone can invent Mixed Doubles, I can invent my own game. (PS. Trademark pending 🙂 )
And, honestly, its based off a game I grew up playing as a kid.
Remember Chinese Checkers? Go figure, Chinese Checkers was invented in Germany – well, at least according to Wikipedia. It must be true, right?
If you aren’t familiar with the game … it’s a six player game. The goal, move all of your marbles to the direct opposite end before any of the opponents can get their marbles to the other end.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE ASTERISK.
UFC has the Octogon, Boxing and Wrestling have the Squared Circle, Mad Max has Thunderdome … so Curling has the Asterisk (trademark pending).
That’s right. Six teams, six houses. Dogs and cats, living together – MASS HYSTERIA. Keep in mind, every team needs their own handle color.
Stones are delivered one at a time. So, using the above example … Red would go first, then blue, then yellow, then black, then green, then pink.
Points are scored just like traditional curling. If Red is closer to the button than black, red scores a point. If Blue is closer than green, blue scores. Pink closer than yellow, pink scores. Your score is DIRECTLY influenced by your paired opponent. (If Red and Blue both end up on their buttons – they each get a point). Red could score an 8-ender, pink scores a 2-ender, and green and blue have blank ends. Red is in the overall lead, followed by pink, green, blue, yellow and black.
Here’s where the fun happens. No hogged stones.
A perfectly placed “guard” in the center of the asterisk could effect your direct opponent (in essence being in the way of all three games).
So, in my case above … the green team scores 3, red team scores 1. Nobody else scores. Its chaos on ice, and as Americans like to see things crash into each other, its bound to hit and stick. I mean, it really rocks. I mean, its a new sport that nobody should take for granite.
And, on that note, GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!
Dan Mulka is one of the two voices of the 839th-rated Curling Podcast, NerdCurl. He works 80-hour weeks, is very sleep deprived, and has really crazy ideas. You can follow him on Twitter @dtgoalie30.
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